Saving Jazz by Kate McCaffrey

Author:Kate McCaffrey
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fremantle Press
Published: 2016-11-27T05:00:00+00:00

Post 28: The forgotten

Time kept us all moving forward. Me, Tommy and Jack towards our judgement, and Annie towards her death. She had been on life support for about three months when the decision was made to turn it off. At the risk of the haters twisting this around (don’t worry, I know pretty much who you are), several things ran through my mind: Why? Would turning it off mean she would die? If she died, how would that impact upon our court cases next week? Forgive me, dear reader, if this is all too callous for you — it sounds a lot more callous than it really was. I was terrified of Annie’s death. I desperately didn’t want her to die, because I didn’t want her death on my conscience — it’s true. But it was much more than that. I didn’t want her not to be anymore. I loved the world that had Annie in it, and though I knew there would be no place for Jazz Lovely in her life if she survived, I didn’t care. I wanted there to be a world in which Annie lived, met people, fell in love, could be the Annie she wanted to be. And I knew Death was not that place.

But they were going to switch life support off.

This I learnt through Facebook. It would be hard for anyone over thirty to understand what it meant to a fifteen-year-old to watch the world go by and have no voice in it. But that was my exile. While I awaited judgement I had to retain ‘full radio silence’ — and so I did, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t be a silent spectator. Which I was. The updates arrived daily about switching Annie off. Annie — the ho, slut, whore, the one who got what she asked for — was suddenly the poster girl for the whole generation. Her greatest haters became her fiercest supporters — ‘Save Our Annie!’. It was truly sickening. But of course no one knew why they were pulling the plug. The Townshends had no public profile. Information was trickled through family and friends, so no one went to any lengths to explain why they were doing it. Any comment about ‘pulling the plug’ on Annie was countered with sympathy and condolences and hang-in-there icons. The whole thing made me sick to my stomach.

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